Beat Overwhelm And Do The Important Things
With a book that can help you take care of yourself and the house
I want to share with you a wonderful book. I just read, then re-read, and finally listened to. It is, "How To Keep House While Drowning", by KC Davis. She is a therapist who found herself stuck at home during the pandemic with a newborn, a toddler, undiagnosed ADHD, postpartum depression, and no support team. She shares her story of how she developed her philosophy concerning the unending self-care tasks required of those who are keeping the home.
The Author Knows The Endless Treadmill of Daily Tasks
Her story resonates with me because there was a time when I, like her, was raising two young children while struggling with undiagnosed ADHD and depression.
In those days, I, like the author, was wondering how such seemingly simple, self-care activities, (which the Davis defines as, “the chores of life; cooking, cleaning, laundry, feeding, dishes, and hygiene”), could be so hard to complete. Like her, I wondered, "What was the matter with me?" I knew that I was smart, that I was not lazy, and that I loved my family. Why was it so hard? I truly believed I was failing at my new job as the stay at home parent, my self-confidence was at an all time low, and I was not even sure I liked myself.
What Is It You Can Do?
The author invites the reader to reflect on what is truly important to them in terms of self-care activities. She presents the idea that, when self-care tasks are considered morally neutral, there is no shame in not doing them. They are just tasks. You are not "bad" when you do not do them, and you are not "good" when you do them.
We Deserve Kindness
This book is a beacon of hope for all of us who tend to judge ourselves based on how well we perform our self-care tasks. I have grown emotionally since those early days and am much kinder to myself and pickier about what I choose to do and choose not to do. But, how wonderful it would have been if this book had been available 30 years ago!
Key Points And Takeaways
Our space is there to serve us and not the other way around
Self-care tasks are morally neutral and therefore do not indicate our worthiness as human beings.
"Functional" is the goal of self-care.
Rest that recharges is a right, not a reward.
There are "seasons of life" and self-care tasks may need to be adjusted appropriately to match the time and energy available.
We need to be gentle with ourselves.
"How To Keep House While Drowning, a gentle approach to cleaning and organizing"
Published April 26, 2022, by S&S/Simon Element
Hardcover, 160 pages
by KC Davis, Licensed Therapist
To learn more about her approach, visit her website, Struggle Care, and browse through her wonderful online resources.
Note 1 : Be aware that there is a different book, (and also workbook), with a subtly different title, (the author added, "Your" to the title), that is not by KC Davis. (I have not read that book).
Note 2 : This short and well laid out book was designed to be neurodivergent-friendly. Even in the audio version the author indicates the parts you can skip, (in case you are too busy to read the whole thing).
Note 3 : The book is available at libraries nationwide, and online (with a long waitlist) through your library's Libby app, both in e-book and audio depending on your library. It is also available from independent and chain bookstores and in the same formats.
Cover of the book by KC Davis